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Burned Out? Put Dating on the Back Burner

Take a Break From DatingTaylor Swift, the country turned pop star, graces the cover of InStyle Magazine (November 2013) and reveals that it is time to “sit it out for awhile” where dating is concerned.

In the interview, the 23-year-old Grammy winner said, “I think it needs to change. My friends tease me about the fact that if someone seems bad or shady or like they have a secret, I find them incredibly interesting. That’s just a phase I’ve been in lately. I don’t think this should be how I proceed in life. It’s important to be self-aware about these things because you don’t want to end up with that guy.”

Like Miss Swift, all of us have been there. Your social calendar is packed for you are doing everything you can but it feels like you are getting no where in the dating arena. What used to be exciting text message exchanges and first date giddiness has transitioned into a dreaded chore like cleaning out the attic. In short, dating has ceased to be fun and you are just all burned out on looking for love.

So, what can be done to rejuvenate your heart hopes and get you back in the game? Simply put, take a break from dating. Taking a step back allows you time to focus on you, what you want to do and update your attitude and outlook. A brief sabbatical gives you time for the the “Rs”: replenish, restore and renew your relationship WITH YOU.

Not sure how to put love on the back burner? Here are three ways to step away from dating and get back in step with life:

“Oh, I never worked so hard in my life. Never felt so tired, felt so right. If you wanna take a break, let’s take a break.”

— Catherine MacLellan’s “Take a Break”

Get Current With Yourself
when looking for someone special, it is vital to know who you are and what you want from a relationship.  During the excitement of first dates and your inflated expectations, it is easy to lose track of our core beliefs and goals. It’s beneficial to use the down time to connect with yourself. We all can benefit from a little personal development and a little down time is the perfect time to realign ourselves. Being in alignment with yourself is the key ingredient to a fulfilling life — single or in a relationship.

Knock Out Some of Your Bucket List
Focus on things that you want to do or have an interest in. Take that class on welding that you have been mulling over for five months. Write that short story/screenplay/poem that has been dying to get out of you and onto paper. Take that trip to St. John’s that you have been dreaming of. Since you are not locked into attending speed dating rounds at the local pub or hanging around the local coffeehouse waiting for that special someone to walk through the door and into your latte life, you have the time to focus on what you want to do.

Ironically, this is usually when you meet that special someone. When people develop a strong commitment to bringing their dreams to life, events around them start to fall into alignment with that vision. The moment you become engaged in furthering your life and dreams, potential dates begin to materialize. Mostly because you’re meeting people with a common interest and you’re more accessible to meeting new people. Try it. You’ll be surprised.

Connect With Those Around You
Get some face-to-face time with those you already love and adore. Meeting up with pals or loved ones help restore some of your natural energy and makes your heart smile in a way that a first date can’t compete. They “love you just the way you are” and sometimes we needed to be reminded just who we are.

It’s easy to get wrapped up in the game – feeling the pressure to continually put yourself out there.  You feel you have to maintain the online chats from the dating site or flirt with every member of the opposite sex in the coffee shops. But stepping away for a per-determined amount of time might be the best thing you ever do. Mr. or Mrs. Right will still be there when you are ready to jump back into the hot seat of dating and will appreciate the recharged, WHOLE you.



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