After working with tens of thousands of clients through the years, I have found one piece of advice that makes the biggest difference as to whether people are successful at dating or not. Wanna know that secret?
Get out of your comfort zone.
It’s an easy one, for sure, but hard to overcome. Preferences, such as acceptable age range, can be limiting if they are so rigid that the dater doesn’t allow themselves to explore new people or new ideas simply because of a number.
According to an article on Psychology Today, “It is a commonly accepted idea that men prefer the company of younger women, while women prefer men who are older. This is also in keeping with Parental Investment Theory, which maintains that men are attracted to women who advertise signs of fertility — that is, youth. Conversely, women are drawn to older men since they typically have greater resources. Indeed, this phenomenon of men preferring younger mates and vice versa is technically known as the age differential effect, and it has been well-documented.”
Perhaps you are a man who has always dating women who are younger than you. Maybe you are a woman who has discovered that you are attracted to men at least eight years your senior.
Every now and then, your friends may tell you that they know someone who would be perfect for you, but purely based on her age, you decline to meet her because you like your comfort zone. The rules of the game have been established. There’s no surprise. It is what it is.
Everyone is hestitant about change. It’s scary. It’s unknown. It could alter your whole life.
THAT’S THE POINT.
What you have been doing isn’t really working. (It’s okay. You can admit it.) Now is the time to try something new. You never know what you can be missing out on by being rigid in your preferences.
Dating is the time for you to get out there and meet different kinds of people. Step outside of your comfort zone and have some fun. See what it feels like to go out to lunch with someone you wouldn’t ordinarily consider.
The biggest mistake people make repeatedly is dating the same type of person and expected different results. There may be a woman or man your age, give or take a couple of years, who came make you very happy for the rest of your life.
Personally, I think that would be worth the step out of your comfort zone.