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Beyond the First Date: What Happens on the Second Date?

Beyond the First Date: What Happens on #2?EEEEK! You both enjoyed the first encounter to the point that you’ve agreed to see each other again. While you  feel slightly relieved that your dating life may be coming together, there’s  residual anxieties about your second date. Perhaps even more so for you feel there is more at risk.

Whoa, cowboy. Don’t let that thought train derail the groove you have found. Nerves are not only normal — they’re a good sign. It means you still want to make a good impression on this person. Ahhhh.  That’s kind of sweet, don’t you think? They will.

The truth of it is, the second date is where the magic happens. This is when chemistry kicks into full gear. You are more relaxed on the second date and more receptive to the vibe they are sending. It’s less about you being in your head and more about you trying to get to know them. Being more open allows you to share juicy insight into your unique personality and will give you a glimpse of his or hers.

But if nerves are still getting the best of you, here are a few tips to prime you for the second encounter:

Don’t let your mind get ahead of yourself. Focus on the present moment. A second date is just a second chance to get to know the other person better. It’s not a milestone to coupledom. It’s not a “sure thing” for the bedroom. And, mostly, it’s not the moment you have to decide if the person on the other side of the table is destined to be your other half for eternity. Lighten the pressure load. Stay in the moment. Have fun. Get to know them. That’s it.

You might feel like you have to do something lovely or amazing for date night. At this point, look for an opportunity to spend time alone, one-on-one, to see how you relate to one another. Test the chemistry waters. You can move on to a more adventurous activity or involve others on your next or subsequent dates.

Your goal on this date is to gather fundamental facts about the other person, discover more about their personality and discover if there is any chemistry between the two of you.  To do that:

  • Ask questions and listen carefully.
  • Let them see the real you. Drop the facade, open up and disclose more detail. This will put you in a more vulnerable position. The paradox is that the more you reveal, the more the other person can see and the more they will want to see. Express opinions, desires and interests.
  • Know what you want. The only way you can determine if you are a match is to know what your future looks like. If you don’t see yourself in the role of step-parent, find out if the other person has children from a previous relationship.
  • Try to see them as they truly are – not as the person you want them to be. It’s easy to get carried away with the excitement of meeting someone you really like and to place him or her on a pedestal while losing sight of the real person underneath it all.

Note that this isn’t an interview. Give yourself a bit of room for discovery and romance.

Remember your aim is to discover as much relevant information about him or her as possible. Take it easy and don’t rush things.  It’s the magical date, after all.

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