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The Talk: The “Where Are We Heading” Conversation

Having the Talk - DatingYou’ve made it past the three-month-ish stage and you’re still happily dating someone. Congratulations! You’re moving out of the dating game and into relationship territory.

This means you no longer have to worry about attracting the opposite sex, going out to bars in search of that special someone, getting set up by well-meaning friends or any of those single life things. What a relief!

However, being in a relationship does come with it’s share of responsibilities and, yes, stressful events like “The Talk” or “Where are we headed?” conversation.

Avoiding this conversation (or choosing to overlook the importance of it) doesn’t make it disappear. It can also be a huge mistake. You could mislead someone into believing there is a future with you, or you might spend months or years fooling yourself with an unavailable partner. If one of you is and one of you isn’t ready to progress, you are both wasting your dating energy.

In relationships, as in life, timing is everything. We all get to different stages of emotional growth at different times and there is no right or wrong time for committment. It happens when you are ready and not a moment sooner.

That doesn’t mean you won’t be nervous, even if this is something you want to do. In most situations, know that it will end in success.  By the same token, don’t pressure your mate to say or feel it in return (and don’t feel you have to reciprocate if the feeling isn’t mutual).

Partners often fel the urge to amplify their feelings by projecting their affection onto the other and in the heat of the moment, blurt things out.

In short, simply state where you stand and ask where they see the two of you heading. If they’re not willing to head down the same path as you, it is time to consider your options and what you are willing to live with.

If it starts to feel like a battle, you may not be on the same path and need to go your separate ways. While it may be stressful or even anxiety-inducing, it will be a milestone that will help clear up the direction of the relationship.

Good luck!

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