Are you the type that loses hope when a turns out to be a bit less than you expected? Do you judge every date as a marriage prospect? Do you try so hard to impress that you end up scaring the other person away? If any of this sounded like you, chances are you are taking dating a bit too seriously.
It’s hardly unusual. It feels like there is an onslaught of “you should” information from friends, family and even the Internet. Everyone is an expert of the finer points of dating and how to be successful at it.
So, here is a run down of the top four dating mistakes and ways to avoid sabotaging your dating chances:
1) “Not My Type”
Why limit the fish in the sea by making an odd statment like that. The truth of it is that having a genuine interest in getting to know new people and keeping an open mind is more valuable than you think. You never know who you may meet. Open your mind to the idea that you can absolutely fall head over heels in love with someone who doesn’t fit nicely into your dating ideal box. There are thousands of interesting people out there — give them a chance.
2) Judging Your Date
Many of us have made the mistake of immediately judging dates negativity. Only seeing them as a bit too short. Noticing that maybe they have more gray hair than you would like. Perhaps it is nervousness or even pre-rejection so they don’t have a chance to hurt us. Either way, it creates hurdles for your date to jump over and chances are none of them will.
In fact, the single biggest indicator as to whether people are successful at dating or not are those willing to embrace meeting someone new. Your best bet is to approach everyone with curiousity, kindness and openness. Don’t write them off without a second glance.
3) Unrealistic Expectations
It’s natural to get excited about meeting your first date. Its easy to get wrapped up in mentally checking off the “must haves” for everlasting love while discussing what you do for a living. Start lightly and casual. Remember it is only a date — a chance to get to know one another better. Nothing more.
4) Not Paying Attention
The most important part of a date is to get to know the other person better. However, what often occurs, is that we spend too much time talking about ourselves or the past. Your date wants to know about you. Make the conversation reciprocal. Be inquisitive, listen to their answers and show you are interested. That will make them interested in you.
Approach dating as not just looking for an important relationship but more like you are meeting a new friend. Don’t try to sell them on you but rather lay the foundation to build upon.