I’ve said it once and I will say it again – showing your vulnerable side is one of the slam-dunk moves you can make on a first date. Getting “real” with someone is not only easier than the pretense most people create, but it also saves you unnecessary angst in the long run.
According to TinyBuddha.com, “Being vulnerable is not just about showing the parts of you that are shiny and pretty and fun. It’s about revealing what you deny or keep hidden from other people.” We all do this to an extent. How many of your co-workers know that you find knitting to be relaxing? Do you let people know about the short stories you pen early in the morning?
We all have a tiny nugget of personal information that we reserve for those who “pass the test” and can be trusted with our dreams, goals and passions. But according to author Brené Brown, Ph.D, LMSW, in Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent and Lead, “Vulnerability is the core, the heart, the center, of meaningful human experiences.”
According to Brown, vulnerability is the uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure that comes from being the authentic you. There’s a great risk in developing friendships — and in dating. We all want to be liked or fit into the imagined “datable” cubbyhole. There’s a vulnerability is showing the unique person we all have. There’s a chance that they might not like you. They may not appreciate your dreams.
Yes, putting yourself out there opens you to hurt. But it will also shine a light on those relationships that perhaps would have been toxic for they were built upon a version of yourself but not the real you.
People will like you or not. If they like you, great, if not . . . next! You don’t have to waste time trying to win someone over by being someone you are not. Why waste valuable time trying to win someone’s approval when there is someone out there who will be swept off their feet by the real you?
Show your vulnerable side. Express what’s in your heart and mind. Put it out there.
You’ll be happier in the long run.