Dating is about getting to know someone a little bit better to see if you (and the other person) want to see each other again. The first date, whether you met online or through the talents of the IJL ELite matchmakers, is about testing the chemistry waters. No matter how much you clicked online or dug his description, chemistry is only felt face-to-face.
That being said, the most common time to experience the first traces of a dissolve of a relationship is after the first date. What started off as a hot and heavy flurry of texts, IMs and emails “fizzles” to nothing leading the other person to wonder “What happened?”
Often times, our mental rumination doesn’t stop there. We wonder why he asked us out, why she isn’t calling you back and if holding your hand meant anything or was just an accident that you grabbed on to that made you look too needy.
Whoa. You can spend forever in this unhealthy mental spiral of “What ifs” and “Does he/she . . .” thinking. We will never know what is going on in a person’s mind or their life. Focus on what you know and what you can do.
To answer your question, “How will I know,” it’s in how the other person ACTS. If he/she is interested in you or feels the chemistry, they will return your text and make plans for a second date. That’s it.
The key is to approach the date as a chance to meet someone new, make a new friend. Taking away some of the lofty expectations removes some of the anxiety and post-encounter date dissection.
A relationship rarely is the result of one night but rather a series of small encounters that reveal a bit more each time.
Do you have a dating question? We would love to hear from you. Submit your queries to firstname.lastname@example.org.