Have you ever sent a text when you should have been paying attention to the world around you, such as in the driver seat of a car or the front row of your son’s recital? How often have you interrupted a call with you sister to take an incoming one, even though you have caller ID and voice mail? Have you ever scanned your Twitter stream or updated your Facebook status while your date was grabbing drinks?
We do this so we can connect with a world that isn’t in our immediate vicinity. The irony is that you aren’t really involved in this virtual world that you rank as a top priority over the person you are with. The truth of it is, you are more of a spectator to someone else’s stage outside of the one where you are the star.
The Fear of Missing Out on something or someone more interesting, exciting or better is what causes many singles to miss out on the dream guy.
Dating is about getting to know another person. However, with modern technology, it is rare that we are getting to know just one person at a time. Instead, we are sifting through profiles, answering texts and meeting people with the swipe of a finger. To that end, singles seek to keep their dating options open for you never know who is just a click away.
In short, having many options makes the decision to pick one harder. It leads to second guessing your choice as to if it is the right one for you or if there is in fact a better one available. Many options lead to higher expectations for “the one,” meaning you aren’t willing to settle or work with someone who fails to meet all requirements on the checklist.
The truth of the matter is that no one will hit all of your preferences. Relationships aren’t about finding the person who fits your criteria for the one. It’s about finding the one that fits your values, traits and personality. Its about finding the person you will grow with and can relish shared moments with.
Stop looking at the options and start looking at the person. Until you narrow your focus on the one across the table from you, you will never see the true person they are.