People who fall into the approach motivation category have an easy time gearing up for challenges they may face, such as re-entering the dating pool. They are better at moving forward seeing the potential the new adventure holds for them. Each date is a new adventure.
Singles who fall into the avoidance category are motivated by fear of failure or even FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). They are cautious and don’t want to make a mistake. They are not comfortable with the risks involved in the dating game and even hedge when it comes to making a commitment. What if there is something better out there? What if he isn’t the one? They get stuck. They find the ruts of behavior more comfortable than seeking new paths.
So, how do you shift your perspective in dating? A couple of ways:
1) Work on Your Motivation
Instead of seeing a first date as a means to an end, think of it as a beginning to something great. Put a bit of positive spin into your future focus. Work towards finding the right one rather than just not being alone.
2) Get Off Cruise Control
Sometimes our minds get into habits. We have habitual thought processes, driving routes and even operating procedures for showering. Get your mind off cruise control. Take back your thought processes. When you feel like you are drifting into negative territory, shift gears. One of the easiest ways to do this is with the “if/then” action plan. “If I think this, than that”.
3) Work Towards, Rather Than Run Away
Know that every date is a step towards your goal of finding that special someone. That getting to know someone, and yourself, is part of the dating process. Its not an easy process, but it isn’t something to be afraid of either.